Boot + Lettuce = my food on me

The festive season offers many opportunities to get your food on you. I'll certainly be getting my food one me. Previous year's antics suggest that it's pretty much a certainty that I will end up covered in pistachio shells by 1pm on Christmas Day. By 4.30pm there will have been an incident involving gravy. There is no way I will make it to 7pm without spilling champagne on myself and possibly also having an incident with some gin.

But that is all to come. Today's myfoodonme incident involves dropping some iceberg lettuce down my boot. I don't have a picture of the boots I'm actually wearing but I do own the boots pictured here. They are, however, much too special and lovely to be worn while I'm eating and there's any danger that they could be soiled. I got a hailstone down my boots yesterday, but that's not food related so we won't say any more about it.

Monster Munch on Face

While indulging in a packet of lovely beef Monster Munch I managed to get said Monster Munch crumbs all over my hands. This mid-afternoon snackfest then resulted in a small number of Monster Munch crumbs finding their way onto my face. Some crumbs also went into my nose.

GUEST BLOG.

Today on myfoodonme we have a guest blog from Marie Foulston (@tigershungry) who has had an incident with her computer and a piece of lasagne. Over to you Marie...

There were no bowls left in the office so I had to eat my lasagne out of its microwavable plastic tray. But when I was eating I caught my fork on the remnants of the film which subsequently catapulted a nugget of beef mince onto my keyboard. I’ve since wiped it off, but a bit of the sauce has gone down the side of the letter ‘V’. I’m keeping my eye on this key to see if there are any future repercussions from this, I’ll keep you posted.

Today there was a myfoodonme incident that resulted in an injury. Upon biting into the egg and bacon roll that my friend had made me for brunch, the molten hot egg yolk scalded my neck, ruined my dress and ended up all over her bathroom sink. I wasn't eating the roll in the bathroom, that would be weird, but the viscosity of the egg yolk meant that it was still making its journey down my person by the time I reached the sink to clean up the mess. Upon posting this incident onto twitter I was reminded by my friend @comedyteddy of this unfortunate egg related injury that befell Rangers player Kirk Broadfoot earlier this year - http://tinyurl.com/ojpat5. Eggs are dangerous people. Don't have nightmares.

Egg related incident

Boiled egg on table. Piece of toast lost in dressing gown. Rediscovered upon standing up. Egg yolk on carpet.

Welcome to myfoodonme

Welcome to myfoodonme. I have been inspired to create this blog at the insistence of Mr Toby Barnes who suggested the title in response to my updates on twitter (http://twitter.com/CMcArdle) relating to my lunchtime disasters.

Note to self: a MacBook is not a Breville toastie maker...

Today's lunch disaster: pasta sauce on necklace, small piece of spinach on MacBook, rogue mushroom broke free from plate and ran across the floor of the office leaving a tomato trail in its wake.